February 19, 2014February 26, 2014 karencatlin

Alone, but Never Alone

When my kids were infants, I remember rocking them back to sleep in the middle of the night, looking out of our living room windows across a canyon. Seeing the lights in the other hillside houses helped me realize there must be dozens of parents nearby who were awake just like me: nursing babies, consoling kids after nightmares, taking temperatures, giving hugs. I wasn’t the only person not getting a good night’s sleep, and it was strangely reassuring.

I was similarly comforted as a startup CEO. How many other entrepreneurs were out there choosing just the right words for a pitch deck, searching for talent to join their small team, balancing new product ideas with the need to focus, or second guessing their business model when a new competitor comes on the scene? The uncertainty of it all was overwhelming at times, but I knew I wasn’t alone. Others were on the same journey.

“It’s lonely at the top” is a well-known adage in leadership circles, and there are plenty of strategies for dealing with the isolation. You can reach out to other leaders to get advice and support. You can work with an executive coach. You can have a trusted mentor. You can read leadership books and blogs. I’ve used all of these strategies over my career, and they’ve definitely helped.

During my maternity leaves, I used similar approaches to deal with the same feeling of isolation. I joined mothers groups and took exercise classes with other new moms. I read parenting books. All were helpful.

Yet, there were still times, as a leader and as a parent, that I was alone. Alone with my thoughts, the decisions I faced, the positive smile I would have to put on when I opened the door to that next meeting or that next family meal. Knowing that others were going through similar challenges and surviving, possibly thriving, made all the difference in the world.

How about you? How do you deal with the sense of loneliness as a leader or as a parent? I’d like to hear from you!

–Karen

(Photo credit: BigStock.com)

February 25, 2013 karencatlin

Parenting Skills DO Translate to the Office

Last week, Rosabeth Moss Kanter, an author and professor at Harvard Business School, published an HBR blog post titled Why Running a Family Doesn’t Help You Run a Business. If she wanted to generate controversy, she was successful! Based on the comments, readers were incensed by her assertions about stay-at-home moms who were looking to return to the workforce. Some of her more controversial statements were that stay-at-home moms would be too focused on compassion vs. hiring the right people, and that their time spent in limited-vocabulary conversations would impact their ability to think strategically. I’m still shaking my head over that last one.

While I don’t think anyone should go into an interview thinking their stay-at-home experience will be 100% relevant, I do believe that Ms. Kantor’s article was short-sighted. To counter it, I think we need to share stories about successful re-entries into the workforce. In fact, here’s one about a former colleague of mine:

After spending ten years at home raising her three kids, Ann, a talented engineer, decided to return to the software industry. She reached out to her network of professional contacts and heard about a great job opportunity. Because of her past reputation, Ann was invited to interview for the position. Knowing she would be scrutinized for the long hole in her resume, she did a very clever thing. Using software developed by the company, Ann created a digital presentation about a home remodeling project she had recently done. Not only did she demonstrate her technical abilities, she showed that she was willing to learn and work for something she wanted, and that she had been honing her project management skills at home. As you might imagine, she got the job.

Do you know about someone who was a stay-at-home parent and successfully re-entered the workforce? Please click “Leave a reply” to share your story. I’d like to hear from you!

–Karen

November 15, 2012 karencatlin

Keep On Keeping On

A friend sent me a link to a recent HBR podcast, Ernest Shackleton’s Lessons for Leaders in Harsh Climates. If you read my previous blog post about making difficult decisions, you know I am a fan of Shackleton and his leadership style. I’ve read a lot about him already, and I have to admit that I didn’t think I would learn anything from the podcast. But, I decided to listen to it, and it was worth my while. Let me tell you why…

The 30-minute podcast features Nancy Koehn, Harvard Business School historian and editor of The Story of American Business. She uses Shackleton’s story as a case study with her MBA students, and, in this podcast, she discusses how to apply Shackleton’s leadership to today’s tough business conditions. Interestingly, she also touches on some parenting scenarios. As you can imagine, my ears perk up when I hear someone else exploring the intersection of leadership and parenting. In this case, it was about perseverance, or “keep on keeping on” especially when the going gets tough.

Later in the day, I was thinking about the phrase “keep on keeping on” as I read An Overwhelmed Mother’s Departure Memo in the New York Times. After outlining her insane day juggling her kids and her job, she concludes with,

Needless to say, I have not been able to simultaneously meet the demands of career and family, so have chosen to leave private practice, and the practice of law (at least for now). I truly admire all of you that have been able to juggle your career and family and do not envy what a challenge it is trying to do each well.

In her case, the demands were too much, and she decided to stop keep on keeping on. However, not everyone has that choice; Shackleton did not give up, many working parents can’t quit due to financial concerns, and those parents of special needs kids who won’t ever give up on their children.

Do you feel you have a choice when the going gets tough? How do you “keep on keeping on” at work? At home? I look forward to hearing from you.

–Karen

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